Category Archives: Everywhere

Kitchen Nightmares – Oceana in New Orleans

Here we are at the season finale of Kitchen Nightmares which of course for me is a bummer because I love this show and EMC are huge fans of Gordon Ramsey. Luckily though we go from Kitchen Nightmares right into Master Chef. We did not get a chance to review the first season of Master Chef last year so I’m looking forward to it this year. In addition I have a few more episodes of Kitchen Nightmares to throw on here as my dvr had mono for a couple weeks and did not record some of my shows. Grab a beer and your favorite crawdad and lets head to New Orleans to Oceana.

Oceana – New Orleans

Last week was twins, this week we got just plain brothers. Don’t worry folks these brothers are not only brining back the George Michael stubble look but they are also crazier than our main man Charlie Sheen. Sorry Charlie we had to throw you in the mix at some point. We also have a red cheeked angry head chef thrown into the mix creating a wonderful red cheeked, gold chained, stubbly, greasy haired anger tornado. Good luck Gordon!

The Ocean located on Bourbon St making it prime stop for tourist and locals. Owned by brothers Moe and Rami who bought it from their father they spend wonderful New Orleans afternoons yelling at each other, the staff, the tourists, the dogs, the Levies, the street lamps, and the food. I seriously can’t understand how they have a staff. There has got to be a better job than this place. I’d rather be a Wall mart greeter. I’d rather be in a Nicolas Cage movie. Hell, I’d rather be the guy who hoses down the streets after Mardi Gras than work for these guys. What’s really great is that the only things that aren’t angry in this place are the cock roaches and the rats that are living off the fact these guys can’t clean to save there angry lives. Continue reading

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Kitchen Nightmares – Capri in Eagle Rock

Gordon visit’s a double nightmare at Capri in Eagle Rock, Ca. Why is it a double nightmare? The owners are twins. Unfortunately for us and Gordon they are identical twins. You know already we are going to be forced to endure twin jokes, trading names, acting like each other, etc, etc.  The best twin humor however will be dealt of course by Gordon.  We will have twin insults, twins yelling and most important in any kitchen nightmare, twins crying.  So on to Capri in Eagle Rock.

Right away Jeff and Jim started us off with the lame twin humor. “You’re Jim.”  “No, I’m Jim.”  Then we, of course, need to speak in chorus.  I already want to beat them with a soggy loaf of bread.  So these guys had been going to Capri and loved it so much they decided to buy it.  Anyone who watches Gordon take on these projects knows these are the worst kind of owners.  They are clueless, lazy, and lazy.  Yeah I know I said it twice.  After all, they are twins and are twice the amount of lazy.  Luckily their staff respects them and showers them with praise.  Just kidding.  They basically say that they are lazy, immature, sloppy, loud, and can’t cook. Other than that they are fantastic.  Continue reading

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Kitchen Nightmares: La Frite

Gordon hits Ventura Blvd to take on La Frite, a french restaurant in the Valley.  38 years after La Frite was opened,
the owner is now trying to pass it on to his kids who get along as well as me and big words.  From what we learn
at the beginning, the son feels like he should be sitting in the driver’s seat running the joint and the daughter has no business being there.  It seems pretty much nobody wants the daughter there.

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Back with the Fast Food Round-up!

We are back. After what I think has been almost a year, we are back. At least my half will be. Brian’s half will depend on Brian. He is a busy boy trying to help Obama get his budget approved and working on a cure for Voltronioliosis.  It’s a disease affecting most middle aged guys who were big fan of the 80’s cartoon Voltron.  Every now and then they attempt to call the lions, to form up Voltron, to fight the forces of evil.  Most will contort into the shape of a lion and pretend to leave the volcano and join their brethren, yelling at the top of their lungs, ”And I’ll form the head!”.  It’s never the Voltron that was formed by the cars and planes because that Voltron was just stupid.  You’re either down with lion Voltron, or you may just be a communist.  Anyway enough Voltron, lets get into some food.

We will be doing some updates to the bios and such as both of us have undergone a few changes, mostly involving our places of residence or occupation.  I finally found a way to organize the week in order to continue the quest to sort the garbage from the great food and to also watch our favorite TV shows.  It will probably be mostly me for a little while, but B will chime in where he can.

 I’m starting our come back with a new blog I’m gonna call the Fast Food Round-up.  I love trying the new things that these joints come out with.  Always searching to top each other the Carls Jrs, Jack n the box, Taco Bells, and McDonalds of the world are always fighting it out with millions of marketing dollars.  So a couple times a week, or as often as new things come out, I will try them out and maybe save you a trip to the white throne.  As always here at EMC we are willing to take the fast food bullet for you cause well…….we love ya!

FAST FOOD SHRIMP?

Fast food very rarely goes the way of fish. The fillet o’ fish at McDonalds has been probably the one and only regular fish menu item from a straight fast food place.  We are not talking about the fish fast food places that deal with fish. The long John Silvers and Sonics and any fish and chip fast food places aren’t included in what I’m putting together.  I’m talking the big places like the golden arches, Wendy’s, Carls Jr, the Box, Taco Bell and Del Taco.  For this particular round up we are talking shrimp and the recent shrimp tacos at Del Taco and Taco Bell.  I’ve had both now and, as you probably guessed already, they are not great.  The surprise though was that they were better than I thought they’d be.  Would I buy them again? No.  I think I’d rather be in charge of living arrangements for the homeless people in the Ventura river bed. 

Shrimp in itself, at least to me, is an easy ingredient to make fantastic.  But if not done right, is also one of the most bland and flavorless of those that live underneath the depths. The great thing about the tacos at both DT and TB is that you can make them.  Go to your local store, get a bag of those tiny frozen shrimp, thaw them, put them on a tortilla with some cheese cabbage and tomatoes and then stick the whole thing in the microwave.  Fish is not meant to be a fast food.  I know it, you know it, your mom knows it.  Unfortunately nobody is telling the big-wigs or the small-wigs down at the big taco joints.  These bland, limp tacos are being pushed on the public and all we can do is order something different. On a good note, I do really like that Taco Bell is getting crazy with the sauces.  Their verde sauce is actually pretty good.  I always get extra in case I make a quick quesadilla at home.  It’s a great sauce.  The fire roasted sauce is not all that great, but I like that they are trying.  Sauce is everything in food, especially when your product is frozen then re-heated.

Carls Jr Turkey Burger

The fight to make fast food healthy continues at Carls Jr where they introduced their very own Turkey burger.  I understand the desire to make it healthy, but I think everyone needs to really ask what they are pushing.  McDonalds has really been trying to push the healthy stuff too.   Their oatmeal, which if you had it you’d know, might cause the president of McDonalds to be assassinated by the ghost of the Quaker.  Serve apples instead of fries, have juice available, but beyond that you’re just asking for trouble. The turkey burger I had at Carls Jr was dryer than a Maytag.  Maybe you’ve had a better one, but it was actually removing every bit of moisture from my mouth.  The other weird thing was the flavor of the bun.  It was odd.  It was wheat, but not.  It was kinda like it wanted to be wheat, so it dressed in a wheat shirt, but it tasted like wonder bread.  I’m hoping it was just the Carls Jr I went to.  I’m actually gonna try this one again because I wanna like it.  As someone who is dropping weight, but on the run a lot, I want healthy alternatives.  I’m just not sure its going to be from the star.

More to come later this week as we review the start of Deadliest catch, get back into Kitchen Nightmares, and dig into some Man Vs food. Also we’ll have some new places to eat and we will see what B can give us from San Diego.

It’s great to be back boys and girls.  Where have you been eating?  Send us some places you want us to check out!
Mikey

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Holy crap, it’s been a whole year…

Alright everyone,

Exactly one year ago tonight, EatMeCalifornia came on the radar.  It’s been a pretty good year overall, I think.  But I can certainly understand the frustration that some of our readers have felt about the lack of content over the past few months.  What I offer you tonight is not an excuse, but rather, an explanation.

You see, over the past year, a lot has changed for Mikey and myself.  I started law school (don’t ask me why) and Mikey has been doing his best to navigate the treacherous waters of single-fatherhood.  While I can’t, and won’t speak for Mikey in this post, I want to assure you all that we still care about the site.  We love food, we love you, and we have the exhausted bathroom scales to prove it.

This post isn’t going to be a food review.  You won’t get the nice pictures and ruthless observations that you’re used to seeing, but that’s okay.  I am here to assure you that EatMeCalifornia is not going the way of the dinosaur/buffalo/Ace of Base.  We’ve been eating… a lot.  And we’re genuinely looking forward to bringing you some great reviews in the near future.  But right now, I’d like to explain myself and why I haven’t been up to snuff.  If you care to read on, I think it’ll give you good reason to still care about us. Continue reading

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Under Construction

by Mikey

Hey Everyone sorry for such a long delay in posting. I’ve been busy teaching homeless people how to make funny signs to get food and Brian has been learning the law to aid in my upcoming criminal trial. To make a long story short I punched a guy in the neck for laughing at my meat sculpture of the Island from Lost.

All of our content is still here and can be viewed. The newer stuff will pop in slowley as we get going again shortley.

Thank you and keep on eatin

Mikey

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Mikey’s Buffet Rules – Part 2

by Mikey

Ok so we left you off at the line-hop rule.  Here are the final five rules that will get you through a buffet safe and jam packed with the good stuff.

Mikey’s Buffet Rules 5-1

5 – If it is not a seafood buffet, avoid the seafood.  This is a tricky rule.  Seafood, itself, requires you to know what kind of place you’re eating at.  I generally try to avoid seafood unless it is a seafood specific fiesta.  If it’s mostly red meat and then, off in a corner, there is some shrimp and maybe some crab or shredded crab salad, I will avoid it.  I don’t trust shrimp or crab that is hanging out with the red meat.  I don’t feel like all the care in the world is being put into the two seafood dishes. During a seafood buffet, you can feel safe ’cause they are working the ocean zone so everything is scrubbed and cleaned and prepared.

4 – If you don’t know what it is, and everyone seems to be avoiding it, do the same. There is a reason there is a big pile of whatever it is.  This country was built on suspicion and distrust.  Don’t mock what your country’s foundation is.  Pass up that pile of what could be meat or cake.

Besides I went to an Indian food buffet once and was the only one to get some of this green stuff everyone was avoiding.  To make a long story short, I was able to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica in the bathroom.

3 – Do I need to finish my plate before I go back for more? Hell no! How often do you grab some salad that looked great, but tasted like a burnt pencil eraser?  Yeah I know you feel a little guilty about leaving un-eaten food on a plate.  The key is to get up and push your plate to the left where someone else in your party is sitting.  If they are gone then just put it on their plate.

2 – Don’t take fruit for a desert and punch anyone else who does in the neck.  At a buffet it’s your job to try every type of desert they have.  This is the one time you break rule 4 and you try stuff you don’t recognize.  Get the green pudding in the paper with the jelly bean on top.  If it sucks, no harm done, try something else.  If someone at your table is getting up, tell them to get you anything you might have missed.  Every desert needs to be tried.  If they only have soft serve and jello, then find the manager and punch him in the sternum.

1 – The last and final rule is if someone in your party makes some crack about having to loosen their belt, or needing to take a nap, you punch them in the gut or slap them with a piece of prime rib you didn’t finish.  All buffet jokes must be original and funny or you get stabbed with a corn cob.

Put these rules into effect immediately.  They will make your buffet experience more pleasurable and more exciting. Keep in mind that it’s all you can eat.  If you see someone only go up twice, let them know they need to step it up or you’re going to make them throw it all up and start over.

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