We are into week 4 of the King Crab season and the best part of this last episode, and by far the best part of this season, was the advertisement they had for the Deadliest Catch mother’s day marathon. There’s nothing quite like Captain Phil saying, “Happy Fucking Mothers Day”. Of course it’s the discovery channel so they bleeped out the best part but it was still great.
For this week’s recap, we will go boat by boat and start with the Time Bandit. Captain Johnathan is still on top of his game as they bring up full pots of crab. They even get a call from their off-load site saying they only have 36 more hours before they have to come in and unload the boat. One of the guys jokes, “What are we going to do with the extra 6 hours?” They are so on the crab that they actually end up with free time at the end.
Our friend Captain Sig has to show up to the docks early too, but he’s in way worst shape. The Northwestern is only pulling in single digits of crab per pot, making it unlikely that they will meet their quota. They also gave Jake a shot at the hydraulics, which is the most difficult part of crab fishing. This is the last thing Jake needs to master before he gets his full share as a deck hand. This kid’s always been pretty cocky and he reminds me a lot of that guy in the office that turns all his stuff in to the boss before you do. You know that guy who hovers around the boss saying, “Now what can I do? Now what? How about you?” That person that makes everyone else look like lazy bastards. I hate that guy.
In this episode, we are introduced to a new boat in the fleet called the Lisa Marie. Isn’t she that creepy chic that married Michael Jackson in an attempt to make us all think he dug chicks? Anyway, they are out searching for crab in what’s gotta be the smallest boat I’ve seen so far. They have to get pots, set them, then go back to the harbor to get more. The boat only has a 42 foot deck and everyone is stepping all over each other. The coolest part about this boat is this really old deckhand who has this great accent, you have no idea what he’s saying. He sounds a lot like the Swedish chef. It’s awesome!
On the Wizard, which is my least favorite ship because everyone seems like an ass, it’s getting a bit heated. The green horn working the bait area hangs a picture of his girlfriend on the wall, which seems a bit odd to me. I mean, I miss people all the time, but to hang a picture on a crab boat, on the deck, seems a bit off. I’m not the only one who thinks so because the kid starts getting crap for it right away. Monty, who’s a complete ass monkey, gets all crazy about the picture hanging and smears bait on it a few times. I can see pain in Monty’s eyes, so he’s obviously not getting any, nor has he gotten any since maybe ’72. I’m sure he doesn’t want to know about others who are getting it. Josh actually goes to the wheelhouse to complain but only gets greeted with a “get over it” and “get the hell out” kind of response. Eventually they agree to disagree and the kid takes the picture down. Poor lonely old sea dogs.
Meanwhile, a storm is a-brewin’ and the Cornelia Marie is buckling down. They make an attempt to anchor down for the storm but find that even though they are anchored, they are drifting and need to pull the anchor back up. They have some issues getting the anchor in as it gets pinched in the harness and stuck. Finally, Murray got the slack loosened and they hauled the anchor in.
The Time Bandit seems to be having good luck and the rest of the fleet is playing catch up. The Lisa Marie has the biggest obstacle ahead of them because the boat is too small to weather most storms and they are catching mainly dying crab and old Chris Gaines cd’s. Does anyone remember Chris Gaines?
EatMeCalifornia 
So…. will you wish your mother a happy “f……” mother’s day? Bet she’ll kick your a.. if you do!
This was totally uncalled for… makes no sense… didn’t attract more viewers… so why do it?
mommom1, (if that’s your real name)
I apologize if Mikey’s quoting the show offended you in any way. The reason why we review Deadliest Catch is because the show relates to the food industry (and we also happen to be fans).
We don’t often drop the f-bomb on our site, but when we do, we expect our readers to be adults and take it for what it is… a colorful expression. If you would take a moment to peruse the rest of our site, you might find some posts that will give you a better idea about what we do here at EatMeCalifornia. I usually write the Deadliest Catch post and pair it with a seafood review. Since I couldn’t post today, Mikey took up the reigns and gave his honest opinion on the show.
As far as not attracting more viewers, I can live with that. We’re not trying to get famous here. In fact, if you never come back to our site, that’s perfectly fine by me. You have that choice. We’re just a couple of guys doing this for fun and we’re not bad people despite your take on what is, and isn’t, called for.
We write for the people who like us and appreciate our humor. But we let people like you, who are so quick to judge, comment freely as well.
Thanks for stoppin’ by.
These are fisherman, I’m pretty sure using golly gee and hippity hoppity get your butt thrown off the boat. They said it because it’s funny and that’s how they talk. I repeated because I think its funny and it’s part of what makes these Captains both endearing and soulful.
Unlike my brotha B, who is much more polite than I, I don’t apologize that you’re offended. I instead feel bad that you would consider this quote beyond its intent.
It’s such a silly thing to react to. If this was a Deadliest Catch pop-up book for kids I would have left it out.
You obviously missed our nasty ass tuna taco conversation. It was much more likely to be offensive.
Using the f-word to attract viewers hasn’t worked since Beverley Hills Cop. We all saw what happened to Andrew Dice Clay.
Mommom1,
Captain Phil, like the rest of us – including Mikey and Brian- love our Moms and all mothers around the world!
Geez, no need to get mad at these two – they’re a mother’s dream – they love a good meal! 🙂
Morgan
morgan@corneliamarie.com