Holy Moses on a moterbike a 22 page menu!

by Mikey

I had to get the taxes done in the valley yesterday.  My accountant makes sure I get the proper tax deduction on sporks, foil, and velcro.  I left without getting breakfast so I stopped off at Grinders in Moorpark.

Grinders – Moorpark off LA Ave

Grinders has a lot of things going on. It’s like a Deli style restaurant yet not. They have the baked goods, the artsy fartsy decorations that try and make it look like some French café or some old world eatery, and the food trapped behind the glass.

They sat me and then handed me Machiavelli’s version of the menu.  This thing was 22 pages long.  Those chefs back there must go nuts at rush hour if they have one.  I didn’t even have time to count the amount of entrées they had.  They had so many things on this menu that they actually have sponsors on it.  22 friggin pages!

22 Pages and it even had a public advisory!

22 Pages and it even had a public advisory!

One full page of Mexican food, a full page of Italian, pages of deli stuff etc etc.

It was like 8:30am, so I was lookin for breakfast.  It ended up being all the way at the back of the Grinders novel.  I had to stop around page 14 to catch my breath and get some water.

Once I got to breakfast, I ordered the Rancheros breakfast burrito.  I figured it was the easiest way to sample a bunch of breakfast stuff at once plus get a feel for their salsa and meat prep.

The service was pretty good.  Everyone was really nice and they even let me hang on to Grinders version of War & Peace so I could look over the dishes.  That reminds me, Hey B, we need to hit this place up again so we can sample some of their dinner stuff.  So many dishes so little room.

Breakfast came really fast.  I barely had time to sneak a picture of Grinders Iliad & Odyssey, plus get a chocolate milk.  You’d be surprised how often chocolate milk is messed up.  You get it half stirred, or warm, not enough chocolate, or chocolate all over the rim of the glass.

First impressions of the dish is that it was just like the menu, way over stuffed.  The plate was loaded with stuff.  They gave me half a head of lettuce on the side with what looked to be 2 cups of sour cream.  I’m not sure what they expect you to do with a bunch of lettuce and an egg burrito.

Also, lets go ahead and kill their side of refried beans and cheese, that they give you.  The beans are runny and flavorless, and reminded me a lot of the crap I used to get in 6th grade from the cafeteria.  The good thing about 6th grade is you can take a couple beans and flick them at some chick you dig to show you like her.  I didn’t see anyone I dug here though, so I had a bite, and then avoided it like pictures of Britney Spears’ crotch.

The eggs were ok, they were a tad overcooked, but tolerable.  The tortilla was huge, it made it rough at the end because all that was left was a huge chunk of tortilla.  Too bad the beans sucked or I could have made a mini burrito. The cheese was ok, and the sausage was good. The hash browns were burnt on the outside and raw in the middle.  Usually that means they either start frozen or the dude cooking them up has the heat up too high.

All in all, it was a breakfast that belongs in a Denny’s at 4 in the morning.  I watched a few of the others eating there and they had a couple plates go back just in the time I was sitting there. Way too many things on the menu, especially if you can’t even get breakfast right.

I would skip them for breakfast.  It’s cheaper at Carrows and the quality is the same.  Grinders is a bit on the expensive side which is why they probably fill the plate with a bunch of stuff.  B and I may swing by to try dinner at some point, but if you’ve tried it already let us know.  ‘Cause after their version of breakfast, I’m not sure I want to try dinner.

A huge ass menu and tons of different kinds of food means frozen, mass prep the day before, and cold storage.

22 Friggin pages! Hey B call them up see if we can advertise on there menu.


Filed under Moorpark, Ventura County

3 responses to “Holy Moses on a moterbike a 22 page menu!

  1. Jack

    Hey Brian,

    I just thought of another great place for you, Burger Continental in Pasadena on Lake, near California everything under the sun, plus belly dancers! We used to love to go there when I was at JPL or would do long bike rides.

  2. This place sucks ass. If you want to go to a place with an extensive menu then go to Jerry’s deli

  3. Robyn

    You’re very right Mikey. There’s really nice folks working in there, but the 23482094823 page menu was misleading.
    It’s cafeteria food that panders to the senior citizens that frequent the joint.

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