My Deli-cate Stomach

by Brian

So I went to Brent’s Deli in Westlake Village this morning, hoping to ease my way off the vegan bandwagon.  I was in the mood for an omelette, and since I’ve been to Brent’s quite a few times over the years, I figured it was as good a choice as any.  As it turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Brent’s Deli – Townsgate Rd near Westlake Blvd

outsidebrents

So I saddled up to the counter with their big menu and began to look at my omelette options.  After sitting there with a lost look on my face for what seemed like 10 minutes, a waitress finally came over and took my order.  It wasn’t busy in there at all, but maybe she was just letting me work through the 20 or so omelettes on the menu before approaching.  Anyway, she was nice enough, and I decided to order the Spinach omelette with mushrooms, onion and jack cheese on top.

While I waited, I took a look around and snapped a picture of the inside of the restaurant.  I really think this place is the best looking deli I’ve ever been inside.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t always indicate that the food is good.

insidebrents

I was hungry, really hungry, Somalian belly bulge hungry.  But since I have been eating vegan lately, I decided to forgo the meat and stick to veggies and cheese on my omelette.  I guess I never really considered how much meat adds to the flavor of an omelette, but without it, I found the dish to be pretty bland.

It came out pretty fast though, which was impressive.  However, the look of it wasn’t exactly the most appealing thing I’ve ever seen.

omelette

Like I said, the dish was pretty bland.  In fact, without the cheese, the omelette would have had no moisture at all.  They absolutely obliterated the eggs.  The middle of the dish was good.  It had moisture, flavor and texture.  But the edges almost seemed powdery.

As far as the “home fries” are concerned, they were the most pathetic attempt I’ve ever experienced.  They had no flavor whatsoever.  The stuff you get shredded in the frozen food section at Vons is better.  They tasted like they were boiled in a pot and then flash fried with no oil, salt or anything that could be considered seasoning.  Maybe it’s just me, but I thought real home fries were supposed to have peppers or onion or I dunno, flavor.  After 1/3 of the fries and 1/2 a salt shaker, I just gave up.

I made it through about 2/3 of the omelette and decided to give the wheat toast a try.  It was lightly toasted and I was really enjoying it right up to the point when a 2 inch white hair got stuck in my teeth.  For those of you who know me, you already realize that not only do I not have white hair, I don’t have hair at all.

I didn’t get a picture of the hair because I didn’t want to be a dick in front of the waitress.  She offered to get me new toast, but my stomach had already gone south on me.  I just paid the check, through a few bucks down on the counter and got the hell outta dodge.

Now that I have had some time to collect my thoughts, I have an illustration that I believe accurately depicts how I was feeling at that particular moment.

hair

It’s gonna take some time for me to get over this one.  If anyone has any suggestions for where I can get some deli therapy, leave ’em in the comments.

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12 Comments

Filed under Ventura County, Westlake Village

12 responses to “My Deli-cate Stomach

  1. Kim

    The solution to your problem (sans the hair) is to order deli food when you go to a deli…corned beef on rye, gefilte fish, a bagel with creamed cheese and BBQ cod, etc… don’t order something you should be getting at Harolds House of Omelette’s. Also, don’t order Mexican food at deli’s, or Italian.

  2. AH! Bri, next time, ask me before heading to Brents! YUCK! Tom and I had breakfast there about a month ago, and it was by far the WORST breakfast ever. I have been to Brents before for lunch, and had always ordered real deli food, such as a corned beef, or the bagel and lox. This time I got the eggs benedict, which were by far the nastiest I have ever had EVER. The english muffin actually dripped butter! I am not a fan. Luckily I always get the Hollandaise on the side because it was sour as hell. Tom got an omelette. Spinach I think. Whatever it was, it was grody. I made them bring me a new, unbuttered muffin. Tom suffered through his eggs.

    I also totally agree about the home fries! I was excited to have a bit of Toms, but they were tasteless and greasy gross! There is NO way I would have paid with a hair in my food, let alone a hair that got in my mouth! That is unforgivable!

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  5. Try italia deli on kanan or sienna deli on westlake and to blvd

  6. But. But. But.

    CHEESE IS NOT VEGAN!

    I know this because I’m trying to be vegan as an experiment & I’m a total sucky failure at it. Because I forget that chicken satee is not vegan until I’ve already eaten it. And put cheese in my fajita.

    Unless it is vegan cheese (~~shiver!~~).

    • You’re right, I’m not 100% vegan. If you read my post on follow your heart cafe, you will hear a bit about vegan cheese though. It’s not as bad as it seems.

      Good luck with what you’re doing.

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  9. Deli Lover

    http://tinyurl.com/qrqtea

    Delis are not about omelettes, they are about quality meats, fish, and other jewish staples. Brent’s Deli is a prime example of all such staples.

  10. Pingback: Umami Mia! | EatMeCalifornia

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