Sex, Lies, and Mini Sirloin Burgers

by Mikey

We are starting a new feature here at EatMeCalifornia.  We want to find out if all these fast food superpowers think we are all just food gobbling idiots who don’t pay attention to what their product is supposed to look like.  I’m tired of seeing commercials and pictures of food that does not exist here on Earth.  The videos and photos that they are showing us, which entice us to give their next big meal a try, are misleading.  Now, of course we already know that the man wants us to buy his 6 dollar burgers and will show us sexy burgers all covered with tomato, onion, and cheese.  What the man doesn’t know is that I’m showin’ photos of the real burgers right here.  I’m going to prove that their beauty queen, sexy burgers are really malnourished, meth addicted, second cousins twice removed.

The first meal in my scope is the mini sirloin burger from Jack in the Box.  Jack in the Box is definitely on the front lines of marketing, with pretty great commercials featuring mini cows and cowboys and even including a damn catchy jingle.  But is it all based on a lie?

The mini burgers are fast food’s newest angle.  We’ve actually had them for quite a while at places like Claim Jumper.  However, lately they have become a hugely popular, which is great to get work for dwarf cowboys, but not so great on us and our wallets.  The mini sirloin burgers avg $3.70 for just the burgers and then another buck and a half for the meal.  I grabbed some pictures of the marketing campaign for the mini burgers and then took a few of my own.

mini compare

The pictures make the patties look like they’re almost an inch thick, with lots of cheese, full round buns and fresh grilled onions.  In reality, the burgers were barely a quarter inch thick, the buns were flat and lifeless, there were maybe two or three onion slices on each one and barely any cheese.  You can hardly even see it in the picture.  I did a bit of a comparison between the mini burgers standing near a coke from jack in the box and my own pic just next to a can of Pepsi which is shorter than the Jack in the Box coke.  As you can see, the burgers barely clear it.


I did not alter these burgers in any way.  I took them out of their box, set them up and took pictures.  These are exactly how they came out of Jack in the Box’s kitchen.  Now keep in mind that every Jack in the Box is different, but this is a fast food product, so they should pretty much all look alike.

As far as the product itself, it’s way over-cooked, there are not enough onions or cheese and the only thing that was true is that the buns do have a bit of a sweet taste.  I don’t often advertise for chain places, but if you’re in the mood for mini burgers, stick to Claim Jumper or even Chili’s.  They have a better handle on what a mini burger is supposed to be.

I hope you guys find this new series helpful, or at least interesting.  We are going to do a few of these every month and if there is a particular fraud that you would like to expose, please let us know.  At EatMeCalifornia we want your dolla bills going towards things that taste good and give you that warm creamy fuzziness at the center of your tummies.


Filed under Everywhere

7 responses to “Sex, Lies, and Mini Sirloin Burgers

  1. Susie Y

    Yet another great post! I have had that Mini Sirloin Burger song stuck in my head for weeks now and thought that maybe if I just ate them that would get that damn song out of my head. Thanks for saving me from another disappointment. I will just be satisfied knowing the song is the best thing about those burgers. even if it drives me nuts! 🙂

    • Mikey

      Thanks Susie! Yeah the song is great it reminds me alot of the Armor Hot Dog song in the movie Demolition Man. Have no fear Brian and I will find you mini burgers worthy of your George Washingtons.

  2. My husband pointed out that they cheated in their pic with the burgers next to the cup. You can tell they are not in the same plane. The burgers are in the foreground with the cup and the fries farther back.

  3. rb

    man the mini sirloin song is HOTT right now… i mean, that song is so catchy, they should mix that ish and play that $hit in the clubs … along with “5 dollar footlong”, “”, and a few other catchy jingles that are out there…

    sing a long now…

    Way out west (way out west)
    A story’s told (a story’s told)
    About a bunch of cowboys, tiny and bold (tiny and bold)
    Ridin’ tall (Ridin’ tall)
    Tall in the saddle
    Herding cows the size of schnauzers but they’re cattle.

    Yippee-yi-yay mini sirloin burgers!
    Yippee-yi-yo mini sirloin burgers!
    Yippee-yi-yay mini sirloin burgers!

  4. Oh god. I’m so glad I haven’t heard that song yet. I have only heard the radio commercial about the lady who wants to talk to the mini cowboys singing the song. That was enough for me. Mini cowboys?! WTF?

    Thanks for debunking the 2 inch mini burger myth!

  5. Pingback: Brian fell off the wagon and landed on Chili Cheese Fries « EatMeCalifornia

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