Category Archives: Everywhere

Mikey’s Top Ten Rules for Buffets – Part 1

by Mikey

Now that we have put a buffet review out there I thought I’d give ya’ll a few rules to go by next time you hit up a buffet. We’re not talking Hometown Buffet or Lester’s Chicken and More. We’re talking good quality great food kinda buffets.

Top Ten Buffet Rules: 10-6

10 – The first thing you need to learn for buffets is the don’t sit down and get comfortable rule. Many people get a table then sit down put there feet up, talk about how hot it is. You should have taken care of all the getting to know you crap in line. All you need to know is where is the table and where are the plates. As you are moving let the station waitress know what you want to drink.

9 – The next rule is now that your heading out to the food find the biggest plates. Don’t grab the bread plate or desert plate. Get the biggest plate you can find. You’re not doing anyone any good holding a tiny salad plate.

8 – Are you heading towards the salad line? You better not be. You don’t eat salad at a buffet. You wanna try the produce? Then get a steak. Wanna try the pre-made salads? Then get some prime rib. The problems with salads are that they take up room for meat plus you lose valuable time being stuck behind the old lady who can’t decide between the broccoli and the cauliflower. Salads involve too much time. Get out of the salad line now!

7 – Ok you’re back on course now heading for the real food. Most buffets break up the meat from the pastas and international foods. First thing you want on your plate is steak if they have a steak set up or prime rib. This is also the time you want to get your ham. Organize your sides accordingly. You don’t want to have chow mein and mashed potatoes on the same plate. They get all angry and start kung fu fighting in your stomach. Keep your sides organized correctly or your stomach will make sure you regret it.

6 – Can I line hop? Of course you can. What are you gonna do wait in every single line? You want to get pasta and the person in front of you is standing there wondering if Cajun shrimp sizzles with an accent. Oh hell no! Get in front of that guy your steaks getting cold!

Stay tuned tomorrow for the second part. Get yourself out to a buffet and practice. These rules can save your life!

Leave a comment

Filed under Everywhere

Happy Labor Day from EMC!

by Mikey

Hey everyone just wanted to wish you all a happy labor day. The day we celebrate working by not working. B and I are still workin our way around California to find you some really good eating spots, however today we are joining the rest of you in doing whatever it is you do on the last long weekend of summer.

Let’s raise our glass or bottle and thank the people out there who do those jobs that nobody else wants to do but need to be done. I present to you EMC’s first annual I’m glad somebody else does it top 10 list:

Number 10: The guys in apartment communities that dig through the dumpsters for recycled and un-recycled treasure. I apologize for the cat poop I put with the last bag of cans I had no extra baggies to put it in.

Number 9: The Hobo’s in the Ventura river bed. Out there keeping the seagulls company and keeping the riverbed warm at night.

Number 8: That guy at Jack and the Box that gave me a chicken salad instead of my sourdough chicken club and making sure to cover it with lots of napkins so that it would be a surprise just for me when I got home.

Number 7: The guy who tastes the food for evil dictators. Talk about pressure.

Number 6: The guy who had to edit any Mariah Carrey movie.

Number 5: The person who has to clean the rest room in any gas station.

Number 4: Your neighbor who likes to say, “How about this heat?” to everyone who passes them.

Number 3: Anyone involved in the crime scene clean up for Jeffrey Dahmer.

Number 2: Anyone who does clean up at a zoo. Who in there right mind wants to clean up 80lbs of elephant crap when its 90 degrees out. Don’t even get me started on the monkeys. Sure its fun throwin poop but cleaning it up is a whole other story.

Number 1: Last but not least to the mentally unstable homeless guy who stands outside the Vons shopping center with the huge stuffed snake. If you’re going to be homeless might as well live it up with a giant plush snake. Thanks for letting me know to vote for Jimmy Carter this year. You have my vote.

1 Comment

Filed under Everywhere

Sex, Lies, and the Subway Tuscan Chicken Sandwich

by Mikey

When it comes to marketing product Subway and Jared put a lot of cash into catchy jingles and big product pictures.  When it comes down to it though, I’ve always felt this need to punch Jared in the kidney and that damn five dollar foot long song makes me want to go to the mall and trip old people.  Subway has always been one of those places that are everywhere and I’m sure most of you have experienced a sandwich there.  I grabbed one of their Tuscan chicken sandwiches because its being pushed to the public, but I think we can all agree that any sandwich Subway has ever promoted has been a disappointment.

Subway – Tuscan Chicken Sandwich

My first issue with Subway is that they must not tell their employees how to construct one.  I’m guessin’ the employees would much rather have you go in there and tell them exactly what you want and how to make it, rather then just say, “give me the Tuscan chicken sandwich.”  This is probably they third time I’ve requested a marketed sandwich that the employee asked me a question on every part of construction.  I keep saying give me the Tuscan Chicken that you advertise in the window and they keep asking me, what kind of bread, what kind of cheese, what kind of veg?  Can you imagine Olive Garden having a new pasta dish and then taking you to the kitchen to tell the chef what you want in it?  If it’s on the menu you should kinda know what’s in it if someone requests the exact sandwich.

subway comparison

Continue reading


Filed under Everywhere

Happy 4th of July from EatMeCalifornia

by Brian

Hey everyone, Mikey and I know that you’ll never read this, but we still wanted to wish you a happy 4th of July.  I know that we haven’t had a review in a couple of days.  It’s not because we have given up on the site.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  We’ve taken some time to get some really cool stuff for the upcoming week.

We do our best to post everyday, but we are only two men.  Two men who eat a lot of awesome food.  But still, two men.  In honor of this great American holiday and the 70th aniversary of Lou Gehrig’s “Luckiest Man” speech, we’ve decided to take the day and grill it up, old school, on our new bbq.  Here’s the first of many awesome burgers to come off this bad boy:


Hopefully, you and yours are gettin’ down on something similar.  If not, just swing on by and we’ll cook you up some deliciousness, no questions asked.  We really appreciate all the encouragement that you give.  You are truly the one’s who keep our appetites hearty and our opinions salty.

Coming up this week, you’ll read about one of the best burgers in all of L.A.  You’ll also read about a bbq that gives all of their profits back to the community andhappens to make a damn good tri tip sandwich too and finally, Mikey will be in full effect with a brand new Deadliest Catch review and a new addition to our Fast Food Frauds series.

Keep comin’ back.  It only gets better from here.

Happy 4th of July from Brian and Mikey.


Filed under Everywhere

Maki Yaki – Chain Sushi

by Mikey

Maki Yaki is a franchised sushi joint.  I guess you could say it’s the Arby’s of sushi.  It’s not as fast food as a San Sai, but it is more fast food than your locally owned sushi restaurant.  The question remains, though, how does the quality stand up to other sushi restaurants?

Maki Yaki – On Thompson in Ventura – Also with many locations in CA and surrounding states.

I was at the Ventura location not this one.

I was at the Ventura location, not this one.










  Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Everywhere

Deadliest Catch – No Second Chances

by Mikey

We left off last week with a 40 ft wave crashing into the Wizard while they were trying to put the tarp over the front pots.  The wave consumed the front of the ship and the deck hands all disappeared into white water.  We were left wondering if anyone was hurt, or even worse, swept off the ship.

Cue Bon Jovi and do your best Captain Sig “I’m on the crab” celebration…….. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Everywhere, On TV

Sex, Lies, and BK Burger Shots!

by Mikey

So, since we did a comparison of Jack in the Box’s mini sirloin burgers, I thought it was only fair to get the King up on our block and take a look at the BK Burger shot.

We have two slightly different marketing schemes with these burgers.  Burger King actually labeled their burgers a shot, so basically you can’t really expect much from it.  Jack in the Box went more with the meat quality and threw in the word mini.  However Burger King does still claim to flame broil everything so you should still expect a fairly tasty burger. Continue reading


Filed under Everywhere