by Mikey |
September 22, 2009 · 10:16 pm
Ok so we left you off at the line-hop rule. Here are the final five rules that will get you through a buffet safe and jam packed with the good stuff.
Mikey’s Buffet Rules 5-1
5 – If it is not a seafood buffet, avoid the seafood. This is a tricky rule. Seafood, itself, requires you to know what kind of place you’re eating at. I generally try to avoid seafood unless it is a seafood specific fiesta. If it’s mostly red meat and then, off in a corner, there is some shrimp and maybe some crab or shredded crab salad, I will avoid it. I don’t trust shrimp or crab that is hanging out with the red meat. I don’t feel like all the care in the world is being put into the two seafood dishes. During a seafood buffet, you can feel safe ’cause they are working the ocean zone so everything is scrubbed and cleaned and prepared.
4 – If you don’t know what it is, and everyone seems to be avoiding it, do the same. There is a reason there is a big pile of whatever it is. This country was built on suspicion and distrust. Don’t mock what your country’s foundation is. Pass up that pile of what could be meat or cake.
Besides I went to an Indian food buffet once and was the only one to get some of this green stuff everyone was avoiding. To make a long story short, I was able to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica in the bathroom.
3 – Do I need to finish my plate before I go back for more? Hell no! How often do you grab some salad that looked great, but tasted like a burnt pencil eraser? Yeah I know you feel a little guilty about leaving un-eaten food on a plate. The key is to get up and push your plate to the left where someone else in your party is sitting. If they are gone then just put it on their plate.
2 – Don’t take fruit for a desert and punch anyone else who does in the neck. At a buffet it’s your job to try every type of desert they have. This is the one time you break rule 4 and you try stuff you don’t recognize. Get the green pudding in the paper with the jelly bean on top. If it sucks, no harm done, try something else. If someone at your table is getting up, tell them to get you anything you might have missed. Every desert needs to be tried. If they only have soft serve and jello, then find the manager and punch him in the sternum.
1 – The last and final rule is if someone in your party makes some crack about having to loosen their belt, or needing to take a nap, you punch them in the gut or slap them with a piece of prime rib you didn’t finish. All buffet jokes must be original and funny or you get stabbed with a corn cob.
Put these rules into effect immediately. They will make your buffet experience more pleasurable and more exciting. Keep in mind that it’s all you can eat. If you see someone only go up twice, let them know they need to step it up or you’re going to make them throw it all up and start over.
by Mikey |
September 17, 2009 · 8:19 pm
Now that we have put a buffet review out there I thought I’d give ya’ll a few rules to go by next time you hit up a buffet. We’re not talking Hometown Buffet or Lester’s Chicken and More. We’re talking good quality great food kinda buffets.
Top Ten Buffet Rules: 10-6
10 – The first thing you need to learn for buffets is the don’t sit down and get comfortable rule. Many people get a table then sit down put there feet up, talk about how hot it is. You should have taken care of all the getting to know you crap in line. All you need to know is where is the table and where are the plates. As you are moving let the station waitress know what you want to drink.
9 – The next rule is now that your heading out to the food find the biggest plates. Don’t grab the bread plate or desert plate. Get the biggest plate you can find. You’re not doing anyone any good holding a tiny salad plate.
8 – Are you heading towards the salad line? You better not be. You don’t eat salad at a buffet. You wanna try the produce? Then get a steak. Wanna try the pre-made salads? Then get some prime rib. The problems with salads are that they take up room for meat plus you lose valuable time being stuck behind the old lady who can’t decide between the broccoli and the cauliflower. Salads involve too much time. Get out of the salad line now!
7 – Ok you’re back on course now heading for the real food. Most buffets break up the meat from the pastas and international foods. First thing you want on your plate is steak if they have a steak set up or prime rib. This is also the time you want to get your ham. Organize your sides accordingly. You don’t want to have chow mein and mashed potatoes on the same plate. They get all angry and start kung fu fighting in your stomach. Keep your sides organized correctly or your stomach will make sure you regret it.
6 – Can I line hop? Of course you can. What are you gonna do wait in every single line? You want to get pasta and the person in front of you is standing there wondering if Cajun shrimp sizzles with an accent. Oh hell no! Get in front of that guy your steaks getting cold!
Stay tuned tomorrow for the second part. Get yourself out to a buffet and practice. These rules can save your life!
by Mikey |
September 13, 2009 · 12:59 pm
I thought that it would be a good time to add buffets to the wide array of food on EMC. On a trip to Huntington Beach, my Uncle took us out through Temecula to the Pala Indian Casino to try out the newly remodeled Choices. How can a fat guy pass up on all you can eat?
Choices Buffet – Pala Casino near Temecula
Choices is to the right of the main entrance to the Casino. It’s actually a really well lit and beautiful dining area. The food is spaced out, giving you lots of elbow room, and the food is categorized pretty well. It’s definitely had a very modern facelift and resembles more of a high end Vegas buffet rather then the Laughlin spaghetti oh’s and mashed tater buffets.
Choices has one of the coolest features in a restaurant that I’ve ever seen: a steak bar. A place where steak exists in different forms and cuts. It’s just like how heaven should be. All I need now is Megan Fox asking me if I want mine medium rare. Let’s just go ahead and say “Yeah, Mike had him a few steaks.” After the third one, my heart kinda started to slow down a bit, but I hurried and got a taco with hot sauce to get it up to speed again. Continue reading →
Filed under Temecula
Tagged as all you can eat, Buffet, Casino, Choices Buffet, Indian Casino, Pala Casino, prime rib, Seafood, steak bar, taco bar, Temecula