Man Vs Food Honolulu

by Mikey

Adam is in Hawaii for a bunch of places and foods that are great to eat but suck to spell. I’ve yet to go to visit our brothers and sisters on the island except for an occasional visit while watching Hurley eat, Jack frown, Kate pout, Sawyer glare, and Lock think. At some point I’ll cash in all my Kmart Blue light points and pay them a visit.

Honolulu, HI

Adams first stop is the Hukilau Café. He gives us a glimpse of the Hukilau Burger which is a patty, teriyaki beef and a fried egg all on one burger. The only thing missing is the spam. My heart slowed a little just watching him eat it.

The next big thing they have is the Loco Moco. This is two ground beef patties on a bed of rice covered in eggs and tons of gravy. Both looked pretty good I’d get down on both. Though it could use a bit more gravy not all the rice was floating.

Next stop was Helena’s for some traditional Hawaiian food. It looked pretty traditional too. Usually someone will tell you its traditional food and it comes to you in a Styrofoam container with a spork. One of these dishes shows up in leaves. Can’t get anymore traditional then that. Some spiced up pork belly with cod then wrapped up in two types of leaves. The only part that bothered me was watching the dude use his teeth to tighten the leaves up. I don’t really want my chefs teeth involved in my dinner please boil the hell out of mine. For all of you that love Hawaiian naming schemes it’s called Kalua Pig.

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The other big menu item is the Short ribs. The dry the meat out hanging for 5 hours and then fry it up. This looked much better then the pig wrapped in leaves. I can get down on some short ribs. Leaves are only for wiping yourself in the jungle. Little tip, check the leaves for insects. Last thing you want is some foreign spider up your butt.

The final spot for the big showdown is Mac 24-7. The battle is between Adam and 4lbs of 14 inch pancakes with toppings and he has to do it in 90 minutes.

There are two things I don’t like about this. The first thing is I don’t like pancakes so I’m already out of the competition. The second thing is that they must have been going for some television record on how many times they could say Mac Daddy. Yes, yes we know it’s a mac daddy spatula, a mac daddy mixer, a mac daddy stove. You guys are worse then McDonalds.

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Adam gets blueberry and vanilla glaze on his stack and the clock starts. He’s finished with a quarter of the stack in 10 minutes and it doesn’t matter. I know the guy isn’t gonna finish. When the numbers are 300 have tried and 4 have done it only that special someone with a gut that could hide a midget wrestling team is gonna finish this thing.

Sure enough Adam slows down and needs some bacon to help move along the starch and give his pallet a little variety. Alas the pancakes are too much and the clock expires. There was no was these cakes were going down. So I guess there will be no t-shirts, no pictures on the wall. The food was victorious.

Jeez I hate pancakes.

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