Too Much Saffron on Hells Kitchen

by Mikey

We are down to the last 4 chefs on Hells Kitchen and it starts off with Ben breathing a sigh of relief that Ramsey would rather kick off Andrea then kick him off.  I still feel you could probably kick off Ben and then kick off Andrea next week because neither one is really good.

Then you do a button hook fly pattern right! On Three!

Then you do a button hook fly pattern right! On Three!

The first challenge is one of Gordon’s favorite things to do.  The taste and make challenge.  They all tasted Gordon’s fish dish and then tried to re-create it.  We can remove Andrea right away because she didn’t know the correct scallops, alcohol, or fish.  She was trying to watch the others make their dishes and compare it to hers; she gets caught staring while Ben gets caught bogarting the alcohol.  We can also remove Ben, who thinks if you’re going to use saffron, then go all out and put it all in.  Nothing like a little yellow face between friends.

It comes down to Danny’s and Paula’s dishes and Danny wins out because he has chosen Red Snapper, which was the correct fish, and because he went with fish stock which was the correct base.  Paula chose to use water which created the taste and texture difference that won her second place.

Danny wins a great reward with Gordon flying in a bi-plane while the other three work on JP’s silverware and prep the kitchen.  Andrea whines for awhile as she works and Ben and Paula help her suck it up a bit.  Andrea is beginning to crack, because that’s what people who are out of their depth do.  At least with Ben, his ego is large enough to still consider himself a really good chef, so it’s much harder for him to reach Andrea’s level of misery.  I still kinda miss Robert because I wanted to see what the reward would be had he won.  Do we go from bi-plane to Spruce Goose?  Shame on any of you for not knowing with the Spruce Goose is.


Right before dinner service, Gordon sends everyone to the dorms for a surprise.  I was hoping a team of ninjas would jump out and they would all have to fight to survive.  Instead Gordon got them all his signature cook ware, which I guess is cool too, but not as cool as ninjas.

Dinner service gets started and Gordon gives them all a clean slate. It starts off well, with more good things coming out of Gordon’s face then bad things.  Everyone was working well and food was moving out of the kitchen.  Then Ben began to panic a bit.  He threw in some spaghetti before the water was boiling.  Gordon got sweaty Ben going again and he got back on track.  Only to soon fall off again with a bland dish.  Ben does a great job of keeping the heat off everyone else.  Right when you think Ben is clear, he starts putting tuna and croutons on a plain green salad.  Picturing this guy as a head chef in a big time restaurant is like picturing me as the head runway model for Calvin Klein.  Hang on that image is way too sexy.  How’s this?  It’s like picturing me as the head make up artist at Revlon.

My favorite part is that right when Gordon compliments them, they immediately screw up.  Gordon yells at Ben for not dropping the pasta when asked and Andrea over-cooks the Wellington.

Towards the end of dinner we have a proposal from one of the tables, putting some poor girl under the gun to say yes or look like a complete jerk.  She can wait ’til they get home to say no, or at least until he pays the check.  I’m totally against asking people to marry you in public places and even more so when they are caught on TV.  Talk about cornering someone.  Maybe one day the gods will grant my wish and someone will have the courage to say, ‘Yeah right, lets talk about you moving out of your mom’s house first.”

The proposal ends with warm and fuzzies everywhere, until two wellingtons mysteriously disappear.  Andrea misscounted, but the duo of Danny and Paula got a couple wellies in the oven before it was too late.  They almost made it to the very last tables.  This had to be Andrea’s last service right?

Everyone goes upstairs to decide who would be the chef to leave, and Ben volunteers Andrea because she does not have the experience.  Andrea responds by nominating Ben because he sucks and she doesn’t really have any other reasons.  Paula brings up some great points attacking Ben and his so-called experience, leaving it up to Danny who seemed to be leaning towards Andrea.

The chefs could not come up with just one loser so Gordon brings both Andrea and Ben up to plead their case.  Gordon thought for a bit and then booted out sweaty Ben, which begs the question, why not kick his ass out last week?  Everyone knew he was going.  The man who stamped the phrase, “You couldn’t cook my cock!” is removed from Hells Kitchen. I have to figure Ben was just too sweaty to keep around and Gordon wanted to try one more time to make Andrea cry.

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