Hells Kitchen and Just BBQ

by Mikey

This last Thursday on Hells Kitchen we finally get to see another weak ass chef get booted off in the middle of the service.  J apparently not only serves the ass of the lettuce in his salads, but he also can’t seem to cook rice.  Which kinda makes us wonder why he’s on the show?  You have to figure one of the qualifications for a semi-credible chef would be cooking pasta and rice these things are essentially just boiling absorbent materials in water.

Get ready cause in 5 seconds my ass is getting kicked out.
Get ready cause in 5 seconds my ass is getting kicked out.

J messed up the rice for everyone and then goes on to put his own special spin on fish by burning it consistently.  Maybe burnt fish is the special dish in his town.  On a bed of overcooked rice.  Ramsey forehead vein explodes as he sends J out of Hells Kitchen.  J vows to take all he has learned to his own restaurant where he will rein victorious serving us all the burnt fish and lettuce ass we can eat.

There, of course, are still plenty of weak chefs left.  Lacey probably serves up mashed potatoes like a pro at Hometown Buffet but as a Chef she’s no better then say Michael Jordan with a baseball bat.  Yeah the reference is old, but I can’t get over seeing the footage of a baseball player with a strike zone the size of a Buick.

On another note I created a spectacular baked ziti today.  I may be ready to compete on Top Chef by the time I’m 50.  I’m not going on Hells Kitchen because Ramsey would make me wet my pants; either that or I’d snap and beat him to death with a beef Wellington I had just burnt.  The ziti was very zesty, I made my own sauce this time, previously on the advice of friend I was using the store bought sauce.  You need to be able to control the tomato and basil levels though and obviously the wrong sauce turns whatever you make to crap.  As far as pre-made sauces go I tend to stick with Classico.  I enjoy the flavors of the Tomato Basil, the Four Cheese, and the Mushroom Spinach is good too.  Bertolli makes a descent sauce, I only tend to avoid the cheap ass Ragu’s of the world.

Anyway if you’re interested in the recipe just let me know.

On to Just BBQ

Just BBQ Ventura – Johnson/101 Fwy

Just BBQ is a simple review because it’s all my favorite things.  Tri tip, garlic bread, ribs, and picnic type salads.  They have 2 types of sauces hot and medium.  They BBQ everything right there in front of you and of course they have been cooking all day so you don’t have to wait.

They make pasta salad, macaroni salad, and coleslaw so it’s a very simple menu. You pick a meat, a couple sides, a sauce, and a drink.  They are the In & Out of BBQ but with better quality meat.

I got the tri tip and beans with garlic bread, potato salad, and coleslaw.  It’s a lot like the soup Nazi from Seinfeld.  You tell the guy manning the bbq what you want then you shuffle off to the next station to grab your salads, then shuffle to your next station to pay.

The tri tip was good, but good have been better.  They sliced me off cuts from something they must have cooked earlier because it was overcooked. I like my tri tip to still have a little life left in it.  I don’t need it to moo and ask me directions to California to be a happy cow, but I want it to still have some bounce in it.  I got both the sauces, medium and hot.  The hot sauce definitely had some bite; it gave me the sniffles but still could be kicked up a notch.  The medium was even and had a nice flavor.  The potato salad sucked my left toe.  It was bland, and just a total waste of space.  The coleslaw had a bit more flavor but was still a bit watery.  It had nothing on KFC slaw.  The garlic bread was good and worked well with the sauce.  The beans that come with it were ok, but I like the beans from Wood Ranch more.  But even more, my bbq beans kicked the ass of these beans.  I’m a good cook, but my beans shouldn’t be buffer then a bbq house’s beans.

The great thing about the place is that it’s located right next to a movie theater so I can hook up on a full plate of BBQ before I go see a movie.  I had some time to kill before I caught a free performance of Paul Blart Mall Cop. Which I’m so glad was free, because it was funny in parts but as a whole was a lot like the potato salad.


Filed under Ventura

3 responses to “Hells Kitchen and Just BBQ

  1. Liz

    The florentine spinach & cheese classico sauce is good too. that’s what i normally use. I’m really enjoying reading your & B’s reviews. Good ol Mikey & B humor. 🙂

  2. marcus

    I ran across this sauce the other day, i found it after i saw the poor chef on the today show, his site is http://www.thepoorchef.com i ordered some of his sauce and it was soooo good, he has 3 of them, one is a mango peach hot sauce thats to die for, the other is a zesty bbq sauce, i made some ribs and could not put the bottle down since, i just wanted to share as i was reading this and thought of something new to try to zest up your meats, im also very impressed by the young man. his concept of 7 dollar meals that real people make is very cool

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