Top Chef Season 5 Wrap-up

by Brian

Well, that does it for another season of TV’s best food show (Sorry, Ramsey.)  With last night’s reunion over and done with, I thought I would milk Top Chef for one last post before it fades away for the next 9 months or so.

Anyway, for those of you who didn’t watch the reunion show, Fabio Viviani won fan favorite.  Good for him!  In my previous post I predicted that it would either be him or Carla taking home the crown, and as always, I was right.  Honestly, he deserved it for carrying the show.  This season of Top Chef was, in my opinion, one of the weakest talent-wise.  Sure Stefan and Hosea showed some skills, but it was Fabio who supplied the laughs along with the talent.

And now, my top 3 Fabio quotes of the season:

  1. “It’s Top Chef, not Top Scallop!”
  2. “Welcome to the country of opportunities… opportunities for make something new for me.”
  3. And my personal favorite: “I’m 30 years old and I have to sleep in a bunky bed.”

Arivederci, Fabio!  You’ll be a hard act to follow.

I also picked up on some major under-the-bus action from former TC competitor Casey, regarding everybody’s alternate fan favorite, Carla.  Actually, she had more beef with the TC producers for editing (heavily) her part in Carla’s disastrous finale.  Here’s a quick rundown:

  • Carla spent half the total time doing her crab appetizer.
  • Carla completely forgot to add a sauce Casey spent over two hours on.
  • Carla grilled the meat course after the sous vide, which was the real reason it bombed.

All in all, it sounds like Carla messed up pretty good.  I still like her, but now it makes my ranking her #8 seem pretty sound.  Here’s the full story if you want to take a look.

Finally, I’d just like to take a second to comment on this season’s crazy sexual tension.

The best crush/relationship in my opinion was between Stefan and Jamie, not Hosea and Leah.  Stefan knew that Jamie was gay, and still went for it.  That, my friends, takes some gravitas.  I mean, you’ve gotta be Kanye-sized full-of-yourself to think you can pull that action off.  I think this picture of steely-eyed determination says it all:


The whole Hosea/Leah thing, aside from being totally inexplicable, is pretty lame compared to the best relationship story of the season (don’t worry, it’s coming).  What the heck was Leah thinking anyway?  “Oh, that won’t make the cut on a reality show.”  In this interview, she states that she hung around with Fabio, Stefan and Hosea. (Groupie, much?)  Hey, at least she knows where the talent is… and that Toby is a complete douchebag.  Anyway, I have to forgive these two their minor transgression.  I mean, it was just a kiss, not just the tip, right?

I wonder why nobody takes her seriously?

I wonder why nobody takes her seriously?

As I was saying, the whole Hosea/Leah thing is small potatoes compared to the real story.  And that story, my friends, is the Tom/Padma/Gail love triangle.  Take this photographic evidence for example:

Is that jealousy I detect, Gail?

Is that jealousy I detect, Gail?

I love the smarmy look on Tom’s face in this shot.  He clearly thinks his pimp hand is strong.  Thankfully, Gail is keeping her hands where I can see them, because it looks like she’s either about to shank Tom in the side or choke Padma out.  I really can’t tell.  It’s alright Gail, at least you haven’t gotten Katie Lee’d… yet.

Okay everyone, tomorrow we’ll be back with more restaurant reviews.  Thanks for letting me get in my last take on Top Chef.

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