Mikey’s Top Ten Rules for Buffets – Part 1

by Mikey

Now that we have put a buffet review out there I thought I’d give ya’ll a few rules to go by next time you hit up a buffet. We’re not talking Hometown Buffet or Lester’s Chicken and More. We’re talking good quality great food kinda buffets.

Top Ten Buffet Rules: 10-6

10 – The first thing you need to learn for buffets is the don’t sit down and get comfortable rule. Many people get a table then sit down put there feet up, talk about how hot it is. You should have taken care of all the getting to know you crap in line. All you need to know is where is the table and where are the plates. As you are moving let the station waitress know what you want to drink.

9 – The next rule is now that your heading out to the food find the biggest plates. Don’t grab the bread plate or desert plate. Get the biggest plate you can find. You’re not doing anyone any good holding a tiny salad plate.

8 – Are you heading towards the salad line? You better not be. You don’t eat salad at a buffet. You wanna try the produce? Then get a steak. Wanna try the pre-made salads? Then get some prime rib. The problems with salads are that they take up room for meat plus you lose valuable time being stuck behind the old lady who can’t decide between the broccoli and the cauliflower. Salads involve too much time. Get out of the salad line now!

7 – Ok you’re back on course now heading for the real food. Most buffets break up the meat from the pastas and international foods. First thing you want on your plate is steak if they have a steak set up or prime rib. This is also the time you want to get your ham. Organize your sides accordingly. You don’t want to have chow mein and mashed potatoes on the same plate. They get all angry and start kung fu fighting in your stomach. Keep your sides organized correctly or your stomach will make sure you regret it.

6 – Can I line hop? Of course you can. What are you gonna do wait in every single line? You want to get pasta and the person in front of you is standing there wondering if Cajun shrimp sizzles with an accent. Oh hell no! Get in front of that guy your steaks getting cold!

Stay tuned tomorrow for the second part. Get yourself out to a buffet and practice. These rules can save your life!

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